Voting for the first time

Aug 23, 2010.

Primary elections in Florida. My first time voting in my adopted country. Yes I have voted before in my native country, but this is different. We are electing candidates to local, state and national offices. What a difference. No more picking someone to be the next dictator for the next five years. Somehow the process seems more close to home. When I have sat down on a metting with am certain official mow running for her party's nomination, it feels more close to home. Even the dog catcher is an elected position in some jurisdictions. Democracy is not the right to elect a president but the right to elect members of the government. Local and national. From the local school board member to the senator.

Enjoying every day

Taking things one day at a time. Trying to enjoy what I do best and try to cope with what I don't do that well.

Family hanging on. Son growing up everyday. Wife busy with her work and raising our son. Me working uncountable hours trying to keep my job as stable as the current "economic situation" allows.

Still waiting

Jan 13, 9:30 pm Lima time. Doctor is just finishing with another surgery. Plans to start surgery on nephew in the middle of night?

Jan 14 ... No surgery on the middle of the night was performed. Nephew undergoing surgery now. We all pulling for him...

Sad again...

Last night we got terrible news from Peru. My brand new nephew was born with a serious condition. The little guy was not given much chance to live. Only a few hours the doctors said. He even got baptized right there at the hospital. People we talking of funeral arrangements.

But during the night the little guy put on a fight. Limbs started moving. Doctors are now about to perform surgery on this 1 day-old baby.

In the end it will be what God decides.

How sad though. Brings back memories of the two babies my wife and I had to say goodbye without a chance to hold them ever. At least this kid gave that satisfaction to his parents. And he is putting on a fight.

...And he is being given a chance...

...God bless him, his parents and the medical staff...

We pulling for you little guy!

Sleepless nights

Ah... the memories of those quiet days and nights. I wonder if he knows how much he has changed our lives. I wonder if he knows how much we love him. I wonder if he knows how much effort does it take to care for him. Judging by his gesture, look closely at the picture, I think he knows very well.

Our lives at home seem to fit a 2-3 hour feeding schedule.

Parenthood: It is the hardest, most frustrating job you will ever love.

http://ipacheco.com

A gift from God

...I don't need no one to tell me about heaven
I look at my son, and I believe...

* Paraphrasing "Heaven" by Live.

Just a few more days

Ian is rapidly approaching the end of his term. Amanda is now 37 1/2 weeks pregnant. I can't wait.

Counting the days

We are counting the days for the arrival of Ian Christopher, our first born.

We take joy in knowing that little Ian is well on his way.

Cannot wait to "deal" with the new-baby chores.

Puts some perspective on your life. On days when work-related stress seems to be dominating your life just thinking of the little-one on his way really makes a difference.

My wife put my hand on her tummy yesterday and the little one moved about a couple of times...

What a weird feeling... I cannot understand and will never know what does it feel like to have him move inside of you.

http://www.ipacheco.com

--Robert

I am sad

I am very sad.

As many of you know my father passed away October 3 at around 2am.
Always thought of my father as a strong person.
It was hard to see him getting weaker as the Cancer advanced.
It was very hard to see him on his last days.
Yet we got to talk and make peace. Not that there were many things pending to make peace on. But we got to say good bye.

When the moment came, in the middle of the night, when I was told that he was finally gone, I didn't cry a sense of relief and peace. No more needles. No more tests. No more procedures.

So I am sad, yet I'm relieved. I take confort in that he is not suffering. I take confort in the knowledge that he is watching over us.

As I told people several times during the funeral:

"My Dad is cured now"

--Robert

Will you miss me?

Life is this.
Just that.
Another question I have to ask.

Life is this.
Just that.
Another question I have to ask.

Will you miss me when I am dead?
For at least a day or two.
Will you miss me when I am gone?

Baby Pacheco on its way

Finally we can tell you all that a baby Pacheco is on its way. As of today Amanda is 15 weeks pregnant. In two weeks we will find out if it is a boy or a girl.

Parents without children?

My "Little Brother" were having this conversation about orphans. I asked him if he knew what an "orphan" was and, he responded: "A kid without parents". Immediately asking back "How do you call parents with out children? No wait that doesn't make sense..."

But I interruped him there and explained to him that Amanda and I are parents without children "here". Our priest has reminded us of that fact more than once. We are parents of two children. Event thought we never got to meet them. But we will, One day, when our time here is through.

I know many people people find this thought hard to swallow even though we get symphaty smiles and silence when we bring up the subject. But it is very true for Amanda and I. And my "little brother" had no problem accepting that. But that is because the world is so simple when you are 11.

Right?

Maybe the world should be that simple to start with.

Thank you

Thank you for having come to our lives.

You started your journey here.
God let one of his angels come this way.
But He called you back.
He called you back before you even got here.

While my heart aches 'cause I wont get to hold you.

Thank you for making us happy at least for a while.

God bless you.

A Tree Story

I wanted a real tree, Amanda wanted a fake tree. So I said, "then I want a pink aluminum tree". To which she replied "No! I want a real-looking fake tree".

I was told that relationships, specially marriages, are all about compromises. Yet it really seemed unreasonable for me not to have a real Christmas tree in our new house, on our first Christmas together as man and wife. After all, growing up in Peru, I had watched many American Christmas movies were entire plots were about picking the "right tree". Even Charlie Brown got a real one!

Never mind the occasional critters hiding in real trees, or the sap or the smell or the occasional house burned down by a dry Christmas tree victimized by malfunctioning lights. I wanted a real tree! Here is where I need to tell you to ignore my failed pink aluminum tree attempt to use reverse psychology.

The debate went on for days. It seemed hopeless. I told Amanda that, at this moment, after buying the house, we had very important things to buy, like furniture, to be worrying about Christmas trees. If we really wanted a tree, I offered as a solution, a "real tree" was usually cheaper than a quality fake one. Very reasonable argument, but, Amanda countered by pointing out all the mishaps that the Griswolds endured with their Christmas tree in that famous "Christmas Vacation" movie she had very cleverly arranged for us to watch. Not good.

Enter the Gadget-freak

A couple of weeks before Christmas, while Amanda slaved away with Christmas-season chores at her retail job, I got Dad and Mom Christopher, my parents in law, to help me spend the day U-Haulin' Amanda's stuff from her old room to the new house and haulin' it up the stairs to our spare and master bedrooms. At the end of the day we were very tired. Before they drove back home, since Amanda was not going to be home for still a couple more hours, I convinced them to have dinner with me at Longhorns. Dad Christopher and I agree that there is nothing better than a piece of cow after a day full of work.

During that dinner, in another display of my split second decision making abilities, I casually announced I was going to give-in to my wife's request for a "fake but real-looking tree" and that I was going to stop by Wal-Mart to get one right after dinner. I suppose my subconscious had been working on the "tree problem" all day long and the exhaustion of my conscious self had finally given up to the demands of my inner self. Makes sense?

Mom Christopher's face lighted up and ignoring Dad's tired face dragged him along to Wal-Mart to see what kind I was going to get. In "Wally-world", we browsed the meager selection of trees still available, considered the different tree sizes, tree types and even got to deal with an overzealous shopper who thought we were going to "steal" the tree he had already decided to buy. All of this while the real-vs-fake debate was still not quite finished in my head.

Then it happened. There it was, two selves up, middle of the isle display, in all its made-in-China plastic splendor. A perfect compromise tree: pre-decorated, pre-lighted. Not to bad for a fake tree. This would be a very nice surprise for Amanda, I could even have it up and ready by the time she got home. Mom Christopher liked it pretty much. Or perhaps she liked even better the fact I was doing all this just for Amanda. Christmas tree magic? Even from a made-in-china box? You bet!

Off we went back to the house. I boldfaced the "we" because Mom Christopher once again exerted her wife influence to get exhausted father in law to drive her back to the house to get to "see the tree".

Opening the box took us about 10 minutes. Out came this heavy mass of green stuff. After a little debate to pick the right spot for the tree, we moved the compressed tree to its selected spot and plugged it to the wall. I am not particularly fond of reading manuals and, of course, I didn't this time. We saw the lights come on but a two foot pile-of-green stuff didn't look very promising. I grabbed the top of the tree and pulled it up, but it just came crashing down. We scratched our heads and after some frustrating figuring it out without the manual, we found this little button. Pushing it produced this loud mechanical whirl as the tree pull itself up to a full 7 1/2 feet tall and our jaws dropped. Now I really, really, really liked this tree.

Mom and Dad finally got to go home not before mom made me promise to tell her how surprised Amanda was. I lighted up the tree and went upstairs. Amanda came back from work and I heard her open the door and yell... "Dam Hak, you got a tree!!!". Of course she loved it.

In the end what matters is not the kind of tree or even getting a tree. It is the opportunity to get to share, to experience something special to mark the passing of time. Little things that serve as milestones reminding us what is really important. In this case the tree is the reminder of our first Christmas together as a married couple. What is important is that we are together this Christmas.

Now for next Christmas maybe we can get another made-in-China mechanized Yule-time contraption that not only comes pre-decorated, pre-lighted and pulls itself up but that also rotates and blows artificial snow. I am already researching it on the net.

(my gadget-freak alter ego is grinning intended...)

Countdown to the new house

Well we are now down to the wire. About a week left on the lease for our appartment and we are closing in our our house in the next few days. Worse case scenario we'll have to live with my parent's in law for a few days... Nothing like being homeless to get the sympathy to eat my mom's in law cooking for a few days... She wouldn't mind (I hope).

I am sure this is the beginning of a love-hate relationships with that piece of the world we get to call our "own home" now...

Of course, it is all an illusion. Don't believe me? Just stop paying that mortgage for a month or two and you'll find out very fast who really owns that house!

Ivan is gone. Now to pick up pieces.

We are back home. Everything is alright except for a damp carpet near a window. Not bad. Our appartment survivied and so did our new home.

So many other people lost everythign. Our sympathies to Liz who lost her house on the beach. Our sympathies to Linda whose home got flooded.

I can't believe how lucky we were.

How lucky.

Still Dealing with Ivan

Another day as an evacuee. Now I know how refugees feel. Amanda got a free hair cut when she told the hair dresser that we were running away from the Hurricane.

The first reports from back home don't look good. The road between FWB and Destin is gone and the place where we had our wedding reception is under water. Even the weather channel people haven't made it back into Destin.

When will we go back... at least we have power where we are. My brother in law has no power at their hotel.

Hopefully this will be over soon... one way or another.

Dealing with Ivan

I am not talking about dealing with my ever present inner-Peruvian-child, but of the horrible storm that is now around Cuba trying to decide where to go next.
While some of my conspiracy theory prone friends spend their time trying to find a relationship between hurricane path predictions and the sales of batteries or plywood at Home Depot, Amanda and I are going through our things deciding what we are going to take with us and what we are going to leave behind in the possible event of an evacuation.
Is there is a place in the world with no natural disasters?

Surviing Hurricanes

Well hurricane Frances is gone. Again we got spared. Unfortunatelly the people in central Florida don't get to say the same thing.

A guy I know in Orlando was saying "what the heck is with this hurricanes..." I said it is called "Florida". There is a reason the state is flat. Of course real-state agents making money of your northerners do not tell you that.

In any way I rather have hurricanes than the earthquakes we used to get in Lima. At least with hurricanes you know the thing is comming. And if you are stupid enough to stay in their path, whatever happens to you is your fault.

So it seems

What should I tell you?
What about this.
Finally after 8 years working as a consultant I am finally an employee.
Changes never come easy. I even tried to move on an get a different job. Naaa. In the end you stay where you feel confortable. Yet the more we try to keep things the same the more they change.
Gotta be ready for change and got to have faith in the future.
Just a thought...